bananafishstudio

There it is, the first salutation of the New Year. It feels nice to be dusting off this old space…although it really isn’t so old. Blogging feels a bit strange to me. Especially when I compare it to the bite sized missives more commonly found on Social Media. The other day I found myself searching for a project I knew I posted ages ago. I ended up finding it just by typing a few words into the search engine of my old blog…ahhh technology. There it was in all its 2007 glory. Once I found it…I began a slow stroll through long forgotten posts. I didn’t realize I had recorded so much. First moves, Second moves, several craft rooms, many projects and life…there was so much life. It occurred to me that I didn’t once read comments or think of followers. I was blissfully lost in my own words. The fact is, whether I realized it in the moment or not” blogging was a most indulgent endeavor which left me with story after story. Oh why did I not continue? How could I think this exercise was pointless? I didn’t allow myself to dwell on those regrets very long. Instead I decided to begin anew.

I love Instagram…I really do, but I also like control. I have read things like “oh, they are just trying to get people to engage…to connect.” That’s all well and good, but I prefer to do that myself thankyouverymuch. I just don’t like the idea that based on buttons I push an algorithim determines what I want to see without my permission. Just pressing a button is not a statement of fact. it’s too nuanced and subject to so many different feelings and reasons to be so easily quantified and ultimately monetized. It makes choosing to follow someone somewhat arbitrary since they ultimately decide what I see and what I don’t. I feel as though we live in a “comment, like, opinion” society and truthfully, as a middle aged woman, I’m not interested in any of the above from folks I don’t even really know. I am certain you guys feel me on that, right? I don’t believe these companies care about engagement simply for the sake of it. They care about commodifying engagement. I know this and yet…I still indulge, because it’s easy and looks nice and doesn’t take a great deal of time. Fair enough.

Still…I find myself being called back to blogging. These post require an extra click…will people do that? I dunno, (insert shrugging shoulders emoji) but maybe they will. Maybe, like me…along with that style they want a bit more substance. Maybe nobody will click over and I will ultimately just be writing for myself to myself and that’s okay too. All I know is that I feel called to write. I have this space set aside for just that. And maybe…if the internet survives, I will return to this place again and again over time and engage…

with myself.

If you find yourself reading this. Hello and welcome.